Pain – lots & lots of it
It took me nearly 2 days to be able to type this entry, so aside from the pain, I feel stoopid now too…
A nearly dislocated pinky toe and a damaged shoulder, both injured in the same incident (in my own bedroom at that) just seems to be the ultimate in carelessness ~ now I feel like a complete doooofus as well….jeez ….
o’k lemme ‘splain THIS one….
Ever since I was a child of 3 I always had this fear of banging my foot on something, falling and rolling around on the floor, clutching my foot & howling in pain.
Y’see, my mom liked to sew, and in our house she used the den to do her favorite household chores in: ironing the mountains of clothes we wore, sewing, knitting, painting, needle point etc….anything creative she did in the den. I hated that room. Why? Not really the room itself but what I hated most was the fact that I could always be counted on to find any and every straight pin that had hidden itself in the carpet – thus the well-earned nickname blessed upon me by my beloved brother of “Tina the Pin-Cushion” …. it was a name well earned because I, on a daily basis would step on at least 3 pins each time I walked my little self in Mama’s sewing room. I learned better than to fall and cradle my foot and commence with the howling while the pins were pulled out, simply because the first time I did that, my ass found the other 2 pins hiding in the carpet. So I learned long ago that whatever you do, if you wanna spare your ass more pain, don’t fall down on it – just do your best to keep standing & deal with the pain.
I was so happy to finally be allowed at 5 to go to kindergarten because they didn’t have carpet or stick pins hiding in it to step on. It also didn’t have a mom who insisted that you stay in the den with her while she worked so she could keep an eye on you and you wouldn’t get hurt. I liked being at school. No pins on the floor there.
In retrospect, I think falling down has become a phobia for me since then because if I catch my foot on something, lose my balance or simply trip on something – I will do anything to keep from hitting the ground.
Thus, the aforementioned pinky toe & shoulder injury.
(fast forward Wednesday, dead of night, approx 2:45am)
You see, what had happened was…….
(Now why I was still awake at nearly 3 am is still a mystery to me….but no matter, the fact is, I was)
I’d been chilling with my night owl daughters (the twins) one of which works nights but was off that particular night and had come over with DVD’s from Hollywood video to watch with me, we’d just finished Marie Antoinette, they asked me if I wanted to now watch The L Word, season 1 to which I replied “no, it’s late enough already and I need to get myself to sleep, but enjoy yourselves, goodnight” – and proceeded to carry myself to my room popped myself on my bed, snuggled under the covers ( yes, I’m a snuggle bunny) …..only then did I realize that I’d not switched off the lamp. dangit.. Tossing back the covers I proceed to sit up and as usual, step off the bed to go turn off the lamp…..I swung my right leg off the bed expecting my foot to touch carpet, but alas what I felt was my toes connecting forcefully with the beautifully polished but very hard cherry wood rail that runs from headboard to footboard of my sleigh bed. Simultaneously, I hear a sickening ‘crunch’, a gasp of surprise followed by a stifled scream, the rush of the chest of drawers zooming toward my face and the stretch of tendons in my shoulder as I tumble off the bed, reaching out trying vainly to break my fall against the furniture.
!!!!!!….oh God, God, God,……….. DAMN it HURTS…..!!!
All I can feel is PAIN, in my shoulder AND in my foot.
I thought “oh jeez, if I look down now, my toes will be gone, I swear they’re gone I just know it”. It sure felt like I’d ripped them clean off. Y’see, what happened was when my foot hit the side rail my toes hit first and the rail went between the pinky toe and the next. I just KNEW my toes were broken cause now I couldn’t feel a thing – I had to look just o be sure because my foot had gone numb. Now begins the screaming. Still standing (on one foot) injured right arm supporting me against the chest of drawers , the screaming begins in earnest…..tears of pain streaming down my face…”NICOLE, oh God, N-I-C-O-L-E!!!!!c’mere……………hurryyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”.
NOW it’s safe to fall down (on the bed) cradle my injured foot in my hands and wail like a banshee…… and I did, not loud enough to wake the dead, but surely enough to wake the neighbors, that’s for sure. Nicole takes one look at the situation and the first thing she says is ” ..no DIVA shoes for you for a while *hehehe*..Ashley, check her foot make sure it’s not broken, i’ll go get the ice… “
Thank God for grownup children, they can nurse you or drive ya silly butt to the hospital at 3am if necessary a make jokes the entire time.. Yeah, they had jokes.
The foot is better, no broken bones or even dislocated toes to report – just bruised and painful. The shoulder, well that’s not so easy – I ripped it pretty badly this time. Can’t cast it up just ace bandages, lots of pain meds and rest it.
I guess childhood fears stay with you forever. I never liked beds with rails – must’ve banged my foot on one once long ago. Next time, just fall damnit, there aren’t any pins on the floor ………..and from now on, get someone else to turn off the darned lights.