Journal Entry – “Something Positive”

It has been quite awhile since I have had a blog entry. This, my most recent entry, initially started February 2015, was entitled “Something Positive” but sat empty for nearly 2 years. There is a good reason for this lapse in posting. It’s a sad reason, one that I do not like to speak about.

However, since my therapist has suggested using a blog/journal to relieve my emotional turmoil , I am again attempting to put my thoughts in writing.  Problem is, I can’t think of anything positive. I guess I’ll start with the problem.

I once had three beautiful daughters, now I have only 2 living – my youngest passed away on November 7, 2013. She was 22 years young and brought the sunshine with her everywhere she went. Asthma took her from us. Then the sun stopped shining in our home. We sat inside, like hermits, away from the world, shocked and stunned, for nearly 6 months. I cried every day for 13 months after her passing. I felt dry inside as if I cried all the tears out and need a refill because I feel as dry as the Mojave Salt Flats now. Suffice to say it has been a tough few years.

I suppose the rest will come out in time but for now, I guess the positive side is that I am still here to blog it out. I’m still here to see my other daughters every day. I’ve still got tears to cry, but they are fewer and farther between. I’m not dry inside now. My smile is returning. The sun is still shining outside, but now it’s shining again inside our home. We loved Brianna with all our hearts and miss her more than anyone can say. But the positive side is that God let us have her with us for 22 years. If you knew her, you’d know that is definitely a positive thing.

Until next time,

~Aye