Girls vs. Grown Women

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits in.

Girls want to control the man in their life. 
Grown women know that if he’s truly hers, he doesn’t need controlling.

Girls check a guy for not calling them. 
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn’t.

Girls try to put a man ‘on lock-down’ by using sex. 
Grown women know that it’s the sex of the mental kind that makes a man want to ‘lock’ you down.

Girls fake-moan, lay there and take the stabbing.
Grown women say, “Just stop”, get up, get dressed and walk it out.

Girls are afraid to be alone. 
Grown women revel in it–using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys. 
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come. 
Grown women make you come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man’s time (i.e. don’t want him hanging with his friends). 
Grown women realize that a little bit of space makes the ‘together time’ even more special and goes to kick it with her own friends!

Girls think a guy crying is weak. 
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and ‘tell’ their man so. 
Grown women show him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his manhood.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it. 
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love, chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all signs.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, doesn’t always love you back and move on without bitterness.

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other grown women, some “not yet grown” girls and some of their male friends

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Loving like you did when you were a Kid

In reply to a question that I read recently, my thoughts led me to the following observation which I did indeed post. I have actually tested this theory and it does indeed work well.
Read on…..

“Actually, loving someone is very simple. We loved a whole lot faster and easier when we were all young and didn’t know any better. As adults, for some reason we’re so scared of getting our feelings hurt by trusting someone that we forget how to just let love, affection & friendship develop the way it’s supposed to.

We try to control it, and force it , and MAKE it happen.

But remember when you “liked” that cute boy in class? It never occurred to you to FORCE him to like you back – you simply “hoped” he did, didn’t you?

Love isn’t hard – It’s the trust part that is hard.
Can We

We tend to be unable to simply trust the other person to love us enough OR once they actually do love us, we f*ck it all up being insecure, possessive & stupid. And most of the time (if people are truly honest with themselves) we simply don’t have the confidence that we ourselves are actually worth the love that we want from someone else; so we end up chasing the person away by smothering them because we think that if we don’t, they’ll find someone else to love – which is generally what happens anyway with the unbelievably anal-retentive, obsessive behavior that adults seem to develop once they reach “maturity” and become “educated” (re: jaded) after a few turns around the block of the romantic school of hard knocks.

What I have observed is that love is very simple – people are complicated.

Love hasn’t changed much from the time when we were 5 and we had the first real love of our lives, which is why people will spend their entire lives searching for someone who will love them and make them feel as loved and secure as their very first real love did. People don’t really change much from the way they were when they were 5 or 6 – before they became jaded by life, relationships and all the little hurts and pains that come with it.

Think about it, you probably still like all the same things now that you liked when you were 5 – but you were 5, so the list wasn’t as long as it is now – you just like MORE things now than you did then. You are probably still attracted to the same kind of girl or guy that you first noticed when you were in the 2nd grade. Remember the girl who had that cute ponytail that bounced so cute when she ran? Or the boy with the dimple that you only saw when he wasn’t trying to show it? (be honest, you probably still like to see ladies with hair that bounces just like that today – she’s just got tits and a bigger ass than she did when you were 7, doesn’t she? and guys with dimples still make you warm ladies, they just seem to sport somemajor guns and a perfect 4 or 6-pack along with the dimples now)….I’ll bet you’d get with him or her even now if you could, no questions asked either – wouldn’t ya? Go ahead, admit it, I won’t tell.

Actually, Love hasn’t changed, and it’s not really all that hard. We’ve just grown up and complicated it now that we’re older and wiser (and been burned deeply and often for chasing the wrong kind of people for waaay too long).

Look deep in the mirror. Try to go back, try to locate that kid you were when you were 11 and had your first crush – go find him/her, go get the crayons, coloring book and the glass of red Kool-aid and go back to being that young, open-minded simple person you were then….. Love will get ALOT easier if you can manage to do that.”

Just an observation…..

~Aye

Beware the Micro-managing Boss – Teddy Speaks

“The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt

…..my 2¢ –> Because that person will drive you to this

image
Photo credit: ctaitt photography
~Aye, out (to work)

Wisdom from Unlikely Places #35 – Jimi Speaks

“I’m the one that has to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.” – Jimi Hendrix

Dear Diary…Kaput. I see it. Why don’t you?

WARNING: I am annoyed/hurt/confused/angry/etc etc etc….

Why? Long story.

Short version – A Man. 😦

Too short, you say? Ok, Longer version…

A Man I once loved very much continues to contact me even though “it” is over.
Done. Kaput. Finito.
WE called it quits.
Well, I called it quits – for very good reasons mind you, but WE Mutually agreed that there is no future between us. So in my mind, we ended it. Agreed upon. Done.
Now, admittedly, I opened a can of worms by wishing him a happy birthday. My bad. I guess I shouldn’t wish happiness to ex’s I suppose. Even text-style well wishes is a BAD thing. Apparently it sends the wrong message.

But QUESTION: In what language does “Happy Birthday” translate to “I want to get back with you”…. I wonder???
ANSWER: NONE. Happy Birthday means “I hope you have a happy birthday today”. Period. It means exactly that. Nothing more.
I wish him well.
I’m a nice person – sue me.
But.. “we MOOOOVE ON, because that’s what people do…..” (*ok, the Breaking Bad reference is lost on you. I get it* – but it was funny at the time. Season 2, episode…… shit, I don’t know what episode. sorry, it was the plane crash pep talk at the high school…hell just Google it, ok)

But, I digress.
Anyway, he continues reaching out to me, calling to say …. well, nothing much. Just calls to hear me breathe I guess.  Eating up my cell minutes for no daggoned reason. Its less annoying than just plain hurtful & confusing to me – as well as opening healing wounds and making them ache again. Like picking a scab knowing that you’re creating a tender spot that will scar but just can’t stop yourself.
Change your number, you say.
Well I don’t want to change my number though – I’ve had it too long and, honestly, I shouldn’t have to change it. He should stop picking at me and leave me in peace.  I promise to ignore all other birthdays if he’ll just lose my number. Fair enough?
Is that so hard? There are SOO many other women out there just dying to be with an awesome-in-the-sack, non-commital just like him. So why miss me so much? I’m confused because I don’t fit his ideal woman profile anyway – which is primarily why I called it quits in the first place. Why aren’t I, you ask? Because I’m MONOGOMOUS. Ain’t it a sin? We had a problem because I won’t let other people in the bedroom with us. I’m so unrelenting and selfish to keep saying NO, I ONLY want YOU. That’s a problem for him. Weird huh?
In fairness, I did ask him all that during a particularly uncomfortable few minutes of silence that we’re both paying per minute for – but, not surprisingly I didn’t get a response.
Just Silence.. and a sigh.
Don’t look at me like that, I DID ask.
I do know why the deafening silence though (which happened because I refuse to provide answers to questions aren’t mine to answer – My question simply strikes too deeply into his incredibly selfish nature – and would call for serious self-examination that he is unwilling to put himself through just to get some guaranteed ass on a forever basis. Now before you shoot me with arrows, thats not me resorting to name-calling…. he told me that himself. So I’m just saying what he said.

Of course, there’s some deep issues in this story that I am unwilling to divulge here on a public blog – but trust, there are.  We both have them. However, I’m willing to discuss & work through them – he wasn’t. Which contributed to the problem as well.

But I’m tired. We’ve done this emotional merry-go-round too many times. He made his bed but apparently doesn’t want to sleep in it. Too crowded with all the wrong people, I think.
My bed however, is very comfy and has all the people I want in it. One. Me. (well, me and my teddy b’cause we coo like that)
My advice: MOVE ON Brotha, move on b’cause I have and really would like to put a period to this madness once and for all. Truly.

~Aye, out

Note: I”m not annoyed/hurt/confused/angry/etc etc etc…anymore.
Blogging in my diary is Good 😀

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