Journal – Random thoughts swirling in my head

Well here we go again with more thoughts swirling in my head. Right now I’m having a hard time sorting through them though. So I’m going to use this as a therapy session which is what my therapist recommended last year. Right now I’m having a hard time sorting through my thoughts as I said but if I talk to my blog the way I talk to my therapist you, dear reader would have a tough time reading this. However, these are my thoughts and my blog so here goes nothing.

I’ve had my coffee for the day which is what I do every Saturday …… well actually I do that every morning, but especially Saturday my coffee time is important because no else awake yet and its just me and my kitties and we enjoy quiet mornings on Saturday looking out the window at the beautiful day.
Speaking of beautiful days, I will say that I truly do love living in California because the days are so pretty and the weather is so nice and I can sleep with my window open looking over the park across the street. I guess it’s therapeutic as well watching the little kids play on the playground running and screaming in delight and playing chase with one another. But someone please do explain the attraction of this game called Frisbee Golf because I just don’t get it, I don’t understand that game. I sit in my window and I watch guys play and it just looks like the silliest game known to mankind. I figure if you want to golf, then golf, and Frisbee if you want to, go Frisbee, but to combine the two damn games together (smh),…. I mean, really it just looks silly to me.


Uh oh, I am ranting and didn’t even know I had anything to rant about until I started talking…..well this probably why my therapist said I should blog it out. What she actually said was “journal” but I translated that to mean blogging because I like to share my thoughts with the people that I refuse to make phone calls and talk to directly …….which is probably one reason why I need therapy. LOL

Right now my kitty just came to visit me, she likes to spend time in my room and I like the fact that my cats enjoy my room because its comfy and we spend lots of quiet time together.

Anyway I’ve been ranting long enough and it’s time now for breakfast and I’m in the mood for grits and eggs and bacon and toast so I think I’ll go have Nicole make my eggs and I’ll do the rest of it.

Thanks for listening to me ramble and/or reading my ramble….please leave a comment on my ramble as well.


~Aye out




Journal Entry – “Something Positive”

It has been quite awhile since I have had a blog entry. This, my most recent entry, initially started February 2015, was entitled “Something Positive” but sat empty for nearly 2 years. There is a good reason for this lapse in posting. It’s a sad reason, one that I do not like to speak about.

However, since my therapist has suggested using a blog/journal to relieve my emotional turmoil , I am again attempting to put my thoughts in writing.  Problem is, I can’t think of anything positive. I guess I’ll start with the problem.

I once had three beautiful daughters, now I have only 2 living – my youngest passed away on November 7, 2013. She was 22 years young and brought the sunshine with her everywhere she went. Asthma took her from us. Then the sun stopped shining in our home. We sat inside, like hermits, away from the world, shocked and stunned, for nearly 6 months. I cried every day for 13 months after her passing. I felt dry inside as if I cried all the tears out and need a refill because I feel as dry as the Mojave Salt Flats now. Suffice to say it has been a tough few years.

I suppose the rest will come out in time but for now, I guess the positive side is that I am still here to blog it out. I’m still here to see my other daughters every day. I’ve still got tears to cry, but they are fewer and farther between. I’m not dry inside now. My smile is returning. The sun is still shining outside, but now it’s shining again inside our home. We loved Brianna with all our hearts and miss her more than anyone can say. But the positive side is that God let us have her with us for 22 years. If you knew her, you’d know that is definitely a positive thing.

Until next time,