In reply to a question that I read recently, my thoughts led me to the following observation which I did indeed post. I have actually tested this theory and it does indeed work well.
“Actually, loving someone is very simple. We loved a whole lot faster and easier when we were all young and didn’t know any better. As adults, for some reason we’re so scared of getting our feelings hurt by trusting someone that we forget how to just let love, affection & friendship develop the way it’s supposed to.
We try to control it, and force it , and MAKE it happen.
But remember when you “liked” that cute boy in class? It never occurred to you to FORCE him to like you back – you simply “hoped” he did, didn’t you?
Love isn’t hard – It’s the trust part that is hard.
We tend to be unable to simply trust the other person to love us enough OR once they actually do love us, we f*ck it all up being insecure, possessive & stupid. And most of the time (if people are truly honest with themselves) we simply don’t have the confidence that we ourselves are actually worth the love that we want from someone else; so we end up chasing the person away by smothering them because we think that if we don’t, they’ll find someone else to love – which is generally what happens anyway with the unbelievably anal-retentive, obsessive behavior that adults seem to develop once they reach “maturity” and become “educated” (re: jaded) after a few turns around the block of the romantic school of hard knocks.
What I have observed is that love is very simple – people are complicated.
Love hasn’t changed much from the time when we were 5 and we had the first real love of our lives, which is why people will spend their entire lives searching for someone who will love them and make them feel as loved and secure as their very first real love did. People don’t really change much from the way they were when they were 5 or 6 – before they became jaded by life, relationships and all the little hurts and pains that come with it.
Think about it, you probably still like all the same things now that you liked when you were 5 – but you were 5, so the list wasn’t as long as it is now – you just like MORE things now than you did then. You are probably still attracted to the same kind of girl or guy that you first noticed when you were in the 2nd grade. Remember the girl who had that cute ponytail that bounced so cute when she ran? Or the boy with the dimple that you only saw when he wasn’t trying to show it? (be honest, you probably still like to see ladies with hair that bounces just like that today – she’s just got tits and a bigger ass than she did when you were 7, doesn’t she? and guys with dimples still make you warm ladies, they just seem to sport somemajor guns and a perfect 4 or 6-pack along with the dimples now)….I’ll bet you’d get with him or her even now if you could, no questions asked either – wouldn’t ya? Go ahead, admit it, I won’t tell.
Actually, Love hasn’t changed, and it’s not really all that hard. We’ve just grown up and complicated it now that we’re older and wiser (and been burned deeply and often for chasing the wrong kind of people for waaay too long).
Look deep in the mirror. Try to go back, try to locate that kid you were when you were 11 and had your first crush – go find him/her, go get the crayons, coloring book and the glass of red Kool-aid and go back to being that young, open-minded simple person you were then….. Love will get ALOT easier if you can manage to do that.”
Just an observation…..